It is My Responsibility to Lead Women Differently Than How I Behaved Personally

“Hire better and smarter than you.” I vividly remember sitting in her office when my mentor, and then supervisor, Pamela Clements shared this wisdom with me. And as I sit here, some almost 20 years later, contemplating the significance of International Women’s Day, that sage counsel permeates my thoughts. 

For years, I thought the best way to advance my career was to prove my value, my worth, my contribution. And, candidly, I wanted everyone to know that I was the one responsible. I wanted to be first. I wanted to be the best. I wanted to win. Unfortunately, it was at the expense of a great deal, which I didn’t realize at the time. I worked til 10 pm every night, my husband sitting patiently at home waiting for me. I was always “on” and available to every client, every colleague, every situation. I worked weekends and traveled extensively. I was headstrong and determined, driven and ambitious. My drive, though, was for the wrong reasons - corner offices, VP titles, six-figure salaries. And all the while, I was burning to the ground relationships that mattered - relationships with my friends and family, of course. But, I had no idea just how badly I was injuring my own reputation, credibility and rapport with my peers.

At that time, I served as John Maxwell’s book publicist and was working on his newest release, “The 360 Degree Leader.” As a part of our campaign, I took the comprehensive evaluation that came with the book performed on me by people who I reported to, people who reported to me and peers. I was winning with the first two groups - made them look good, a strong work ethic, set them up to be successful, you get the idea. But my peers shared how much I injured partnerships with them because I wanted to win and advance personally at everyone else’s expense. It was my blindspot. And, y’all, their honesty was the greatest gift to my career, especially my leadership. One thing that stood out was how I was taking down other women.

I just got sick to my stomach writing that sentence.

Here’s my encouragement to you: what was once your downfall can become your hallmark. 

It is my responsibility to lead women differently than how I behaved personally. I want for them in their twenties and thirties what it took me to my forties to experience. That means intentionally injecting a collaborative spirit into our culture. That means having all the seats at the table available to women, not just one seat. That means, listening and valuing their opinions on important business decisions. That means advocating for flexibility, mental health, and professional development. That means celebrating wins every single week. I look back on that 26-year-old Heather and have determined I’m going to do better at 46 so the women that are now 26 have a different story. 

And, I’m not afraid of hiring, training, developing, and championing young professional women. Will I experience transition in my business at times because of that? Absolutely. But my sincere hope is that a changed culture and environment will be something they take with them as a norm and expectation rather than a workforce exception. 

So as we look to celebrate International Women’s Day, let’s link arms, advocate for each other and remember we’re Allies, Not Competitors. 

Want to join forces with more busy, working women who believe in being allies? Then our 3rd Annual Choice Summit is for you. An exceptional community of women, strong, powerful sessions from leading business tastemakers and a whole lot of in-person fun awaits you on April 6! Please join us.